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This is probably just me being picky
May. 1st, 2019 04:00 pmThere's a thing in a lot of Captain Marvel fic and art where Monica calls Carol "Mom." And fans state, absolutely, that Monica has two moms.
But Monica doesn't call her Mom in the movie. She calls her Auntie Carol. And it's so clear, when she's running toward her the first time she sees her, that "Auntie Carol" is a deeply important person to her who was hugely involved in her life.
And I don't think that this particular choice is just an attempt to paint over any possible queerness, because the movie is happy to say that Maria and Monica are Carol's family, in those exact words, that she was right there with them and they know all about her former life, they have all her possessions, this is never downplayed. The importance of Carol to them and them to Carol is made clear repeatedly. And she has that place as Auntie Carol.
And it makes me uncomfortable that fandom looks at this and immediately decides that as Carol is an adult who was in a parental role for Monica this means Monica has to call her Mom. Or that if Carol is in a romantic relationship with Maria then she must be Mom to Monica.
Or another example (because it's not the specific gender/family implications of motherhood that I want to talk about), Holmes/Watson fic calls them "husbands" all the damn time. They are husbands, spouses, this is a marriage--except.
Of course they don't call each other husbands in canon. But they call each other partners. All the time. "Dr. Watson is my friend and partner." (CHAS) They have a word for their relationship, a straightforward clear word that they can use in public and have understood, a word they use when describing the other's importance to them, and that word is partner. And partner has been used for romantic relationships for centuries. They don't need to call each other husbands for them to be in a committed long term romantic relationship.
What makes me uncomfortable is fandom looking at these relationships, that the characters have their own words for, and ignoring those words to call them something more familiar. It's saying, there is only one possible word for this relationship and it is my word, it's saying, the definition of "aunt" cannot possibly be stretched to include what I see here. It's sorting people into different boxes rather than realizing that your boxes are the wrong shapes.
But Monica doesn't call her Mom in the movie. She calls her Auntie Carol. And it's so clear, when she's running toward her the first time she sees her, that "Auntie Carol" is a deeply important person to her who was hugely involved in her life.
And I don't think that this particular choice is just an attempt to paint over any possible queerness, because the movie is happy to say that Maria and Monica are Carol's family, in those exact words, that she was right there with them and they know all about her former life, they have all her possessions, this is never downplayed. The importance of Carol to them and them to Carol is made clear repeatedly. And she has that place as Auntie Carol.
And it makes me uncomfortable that fandom looks at this and immediately decides that as Carol is an adult who was in a parental role for Monica this means Monica has to call her Mom. Or that if Carol is in a romantic relationship with Maria then she must be Mom to Monica.
Or another example (because it's not the specific gender/family implications of motherhood that I want to talk about), Holmes/Watson fic calls them "husbands" all the damn time. They are husbands, spouses, this is a marriage--except.
Of course they don't call each other husbands in canon. But they call each other partners. All the time. "Dr. Watson is my friend and partner." (CHAS) They have a word for their relationship, a straightforward clear word that they can use in public and have understood, a word they use when describing the other's importance to them, and that word is partner. And partner has been used for romantic relationships for centuries. They don't need to call each other husbands for them to be in a committed long term romantic relationship.
What makes me uncomfortable is fandom looking at these relationships, that the characters have their own words for, and ignoring those words to call them something more familiar. It's saying, there is only one possible word for this relationship and it is my word, it's saying, the definition of "aunt" cannot possibly be stretched to include what I see here. It's sorting people into different boxes rather than realizing that your boxes are the wrong shapes.