So I came up with a metaphor

[violsva]

Let's say that Group A eats kittens.

They're terrible people, right? But if I say to you, "Stay away from Grace, she's a kitten-eating monster," you're going to assume I'm joking. That's hyperbole. That's actually a terrible thing to say about someone.

So everyone in Group A doesn't have to worry about rumours that they eat kittens, because seriously? Who does that? You must be joking.

But if anyone does say, loudly, "Hey, these people seem to be eating kittens," they can say "Well, you eat BABIES!"

Because then people who don't know them are going to go, "Right, these people are throwing hugely exaggerated insults at each other, got it." Because these look like the same insult, if you don't know the history. And even if you try to show them the history, well, you must be blowing it out of proportion, right? No one eats kittens. Not in our society.

The fact that one of these insults is in fact true - people have actually been eating kittens - and one is false - no one has eaten a baby - may be ignored.

And the second person now has to fight against accusations of baby-eating - which they do care about, because they don't want to be seen as a horrible person. They don't eat babies, and they're probably really upset that someone said they did. And a few people are going to be saying "Well, they must have a reason for saying you eat babies, and you did start it by saying that they eat kittens..."

So no one wants to accuse actual kitten eaters of eating kittens, and if you do, the first thing that does is cast suspicion on the one doing the accusing.

Anyway, if you're wondering where this is all coming from, someone in the Sherlock fandom ate a kitten in public and then tried to distract everyone by going "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" If you really want more information, it's here.

Comments

[niqaeli]

I have active negative interest in actually looking up what prompted this metaphor, but it's actually a really great encapsulation of very common social dynamic -- and, you know, it's part of the dynamic where we don't call out and cast out abusers. Because they use exactly this kind of dynamic to turn it around on the people who are brave enough to try even knowing the probably risk of said.

(Like I said -- negative interest in finding out what Sherlock fandom is up to. I have no idea if the public kitten-eating was what would be typically called abusive or is terrible in some other fashion instead. I'm just musing that this dynamic exists across a lot of societies/cultures/subcultures and is one very commonly engaged in by terrible people. I feel like that's worth noting, because, yeah, no interest in actually finding anything out about Sherlock fandom's latest kitten-eating explosion so I don't want anyone to think I'm commenting directly upon it! >_>)

[violsva]

Oh, I absolutely understand not wanting to know - or wanting not to know. That's why I linked instead of explaining further.

But yeah. And people often have good reason to be skeptical of accusations of kitten eating - but that doesn't change the fact that some people eat kittens.