(no subject)

[violsva]

So I don't know if it's the phrasing or that I'm finally ready to hear it or what; I suspect the latter.

But all of that "face your fears" "do one thing every day that scares you" "the only way to conquer fear is to face it" etc. never made any sense to me.

And then today I saw this tumblr post (ETA) and suddenly it did.

tbh a lot of my advice boils down to “hey you know that terrible horrible looming thing you’re doing your best to avoid and distract and escape as much as possible but no matter what you do it just keeps looming and looming and ruining your life”

“just, fuckign, run straight at it screaming.”

Comments

[sanguinity]

Yeah, that spoke to me, too.

The reasoning that would sometimes work for me when the anxiety was super-bad was something along the lines of, "I can be miserable doing it or miserable not-doing it, but miserable-doing-it is over quicker." And sometimes that would be enough to get me to take on the more-intense anxiety of doing the thing. Which often did feel like running at it screaming (in a despairing/fatalistic kind of way).

[violsva]

I think it's the acknowledgement that, yes, this thing IS horrible and looming and ruining your life - it doesn't minimize it or make it look easy at all.

My current life-admin things aren't really going to be over quickly no matter what, but it feels like the knowledge that I am Doing Something about it is going to help a lot with that.

[sanguinity]

I think you have a point there: telling myself that it's not that bad (or probably won't be that bad) never really seems to help much. But I have had success with "it's horrible and I'm doing it anyway."

I hope the "I am Doing Something" feeling helps! Grab the help and comfort you can, where you can grab it!

[niqaeli]

I like that because it frames it as not something aspirationally amazing or whatever, and it lets you look and sound like a maniac while you do it; you aren't expected to be mature, calm, or rational-sounding by that framing. all you have to do is do it. and screaming is not only acceptable but encouraged!

so even before we get to how the initial bit is a validating frame, "run straight at it screaming" is very different, to me, than "face your fears!" even though yes if you dig down it does contain the same fundamental coping technique.

being ready to hear it is important, too, for sure but I feel like the frame honestly matters a lot, too.

[violsva]

Yes, it's very far from the floral ~*~*inspirational quotes*~*~ that kind of ... go through your head without leaving much impact a lot.

[aristofranes]

Oh, I *like* that.

[verymorstan]

GRYFFINDOOOOOO -- i mean, RAVENCLAAAAAAAAW! ;D